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MW Voice FEATURE Letters to the Editor War Mothers news from around the world Did You Know? Corporate War on the People Youth/ Disabled/ Gay news Resistance in the War OTHER FALL 2008 ARTICLES
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Gay News My Mom Is A Lesbian “That’s so gay.” “You’re a fag.” “I hate gays.” “Lesbos.” These are phrases that any kid hears on a daily basis. I know I do—often just walking down the hall. But these words are hard for me to hear. Gay bashing hits home with me because my mom is a lesbian. I’m going to tell you my struggle as a sixth grade girl to come out to my school about my mom being a lesbian. My
mom came out to me when I was about 4. But I didn’t really
comprehend it until I was 7 (first grade). I remember the first time
I got mad when someone said “that’s gay.” I yelled at him. The
teacher took us outside. He explained he meant it as “happy.”
Now it is 5 years later. My mom is on the diversity committee at school. She has given speeches during teacher in-services. I am completely out to everyone about having a lesbian mom. I wear a rainbow button to school. It says, “Someone you care about is gay or lesbian.” Let me backtrack and tell you how I got to this point. My school considers diversity as a very big priority. They have already established tolerance for race, religion, social class, economic status, abilities, ethnicity and various cultures in the student handbook. Now it was time to include LGBT. My school asked my mom to come and speak at a teacher in-service training. She made a list of actions our school could take to address LGBT issues--from less risky to more risky. One action was for teachers to support students if they wore an LGBT button. I chose to do that after I saw it on my mom’s chart. The next day I made my button and wore it to school. I had many reactions such as: “What?!” “No one likes gay people, only gay people like gay people.” “Ohhhhh, you’re a lesbian?” “I hate gay people!” And people stepping away from me after reading it. The most common reaction was for kids to walk up saying “someone you care about is…” But they would never finish the sentence.” Then there were the positives: “I like it.” “Duh, doesn’t everybody?” And even “Oh, can I have a button?” Some students came out to me about themselves or family members. It was hard for me to argue or defend my mom. I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that. Kids thought I was a lesbian myself. I then decided I would come out about my mom. Now I use that as part of my defense. I had already told a few friends about my mom. Some were fine and some weren’t. But they kept it a secret. I had worn my button about two weeks. A lot more people than I thought saw it as a positive thing. Then there was something I didn’t expect. Many kids ignored it. If someone wasn’t saying anything about my button, another kid would ask “So what do you think of her button?” They would answer, “That one?” pointing at it. “Yes, her gay and lesbian button.” They would cringe and say, “I don’t want to talk about it.” These are the people who say hurtful things about the LGBT community the most, yet won’t utter the word “gay” in a positive way. Some kids would tell me not to show my button to the little kids because it was inappropriate. This made no sense to me. My mom came out to me when I was four. I finally came out about my mom in the middle of science class. The hype about my button had worn down a bit. The question I was waiting for finally came. The gossip queen, the biggest blabbermouth of our school, was sitting across from me. We were waiting for class to begin. She said, “So, who’s the button? Is your sister the button?” I said no. “Is your dad the button?” No. “Is your mom the button?” Yes. “Really? Your mom doesn’t look like the button!” She immediately turned to the boy next to her and said, “Her mom’s the button!” He answered, “No way!” After he quieted down, I jokingly asked the gossip, “So who are you going to tell?” She answered by naming almost every single fourth and fifth grader in our school--“and maybe a few others.” I stared at her and said “OK.” The next day the questions began: “Does your dad know?” “Does your mom have a girlfriend?” “How long has your mom been a lesbian?” When did she tell you and your sister?” And my favorite” “Then how are you here?” I answered each question as truthfully as I could. And it all worked out. Now I have some closer friends and some people who are just plain scared of my mom. One more struggle I’ve had is with my best friend. She is Catholic and says the Bible says it’s a sin to be LGBT. We’ve worked out a no ask/no talk on this subject. We are both stubborn. Our views won’t be changed. We both had to accept our differences to keep our friendship. A lot more people than I thought were accepting or at least tolerating of my LGBT button and the LGBT community. I wouldn’t be as confident if I was not so close to the LGBT community. It has made me have to think of convincing arguments without hurting others. And I still make them look at the LGBT community in a different way. I appreciate my school for including LGBT issues into our diversity statement. I’m proud to say that I’ve proved some teachers and students wrong. Some 6th graders do care. Ivy McKee
Military Targets More Lesbians Than Gay Men The “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy bans open lesbians and gays from serving in the military. Women are only 14% of army personal. But 46% of soldiers discharged last year under the policy were women. Only 20% of air force personal are women. But 49% of people discharged last year for suspected gayness were women. It would be interesting to know how many men who assaulted women in the military were discharged.
Schools Observe Day of Silence in Support of LGBT Students Students from 6,000 schools participated in this year’s Day of Silence. Its purpose is to support and bring awareness of LGBT students who keep silent to protect their lives. But the US Court of Appeals ruled that a teenager who had been banned from wearing an anti-gay T-shirt could wear it on the Day of Silence. The opposition is organizing counteractions, including a so-called “Day of Truth.”
UK Women Convicted of Harassing Gay Neighbors Karen Reeves and her 22-year-old daughter Christie Myles of Kingston, UK made homophobic gestures and remarks to a gay couple for several months. Reeves even drove her car at one of the men. A judge banned the women from having contact with the couple. He prohibited them from living in the same village as the men. The judge sentenced Reeves to five months in prison for her lack of remorse and for “leading” her daughter. Myles will pay court costs.
Gambia and Brazil—Two Opposites On May 15 Gambia’s president Yahya Jammeh ordered all lesbians and gays to leave the country within 24 hours. He promised to “cut off the head” of any homosexual caught in the country. He said at a political rally, “The Gambia is a country of believers. Sinful and immoral practices such as homosexuality will not be tolerated in this country.” In contrast, Brazil’s President Lula called homophobia “the most perverse disease impregnated in the human head.” Homosexuality has been legal in Brazil since 1823, except in the armed forces. Several places in the country allow civil unions. But homophobia and gay bashing remain significant problems.
The Defense of Marriage Act The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) prevents the federal government from recognizing or providing benefits to same-sex couples. But it does not explicitly address the children of these couples.
In June 2008, the Justice Dept. said that DOMA does not prevent the boy from receiving benefits. Under state law he would be one of Karen’s rightful heirs if she died without a will. In July, the Census Bureau revealed that DOMA will prevent them from counting any same-sex couples as married in the 2010 census. Even legally married couples will be reclassified as “unmarried same-sex partners.” Sources: off our backs; News & Letters; Lesbian Connection | |
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Fall
2008
Karen
and Monique, a Vermont couple, had a civil union in 2002. Their son
was born in 2005. Then Karen applied for benefits for the boy as his
second parent. The Social Security Administration asked the Justice
Department for advice.