Welfare Warriors

FALL 2008

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  Fall 2008

Asian Single Mothers Meet in South Korea

In September the International Forum against Violence against Women was held in Seoul, South Korea. Women from South Korea, Japan, China, Hong Kong, Mongol, and Philippines participated. In the evening after its closing session, an international conference of single mothers was held. (The conference was held at night to enable single mothers to participate after working)

Last year I visited Korea for a workshop on single mothers in Korea and Japan. This led to starting up DANGNAGI, a group of single mothers in Korea. And it led to this international conference of single mothers.

Many single mothers from DANGNAGI (“Donkey”), joined in the conference. DANGNAGI also means “listening to my voice” and “interacting with society however slowly.”

I described the current issues of single mothers in Japan. Then there was a report of actions of DANGNAGI and a report from a group in Hong Kong. We heard about a Japanese single mother’s experiences of work and living after divorce. In addition, single mothers in Philippines and China jumped in the discussion.

DANGNAGI is supported by Korea Women's Hot Line. This national group supports Domestic Violence survivor women. It holds monthly meetings and a camp for single mothers’ children. It carries out actions to help single moms to be free from biases against divorce. For example, they got a popular writer to discuss the issue of divorce.

The single mothers expressed a variety of happiness due to their divorce. “I don’t need to iron my husband’s clothes.” “The relationship between me and children has improved.” “I became wiser by judging things by myself.” “I got an independent personality.” And “It allows me to emerge from the force of unwanted sex.”

Those might be common sentiments in any countries.

Single mothers in Hong Kong launched Women Ambassadors Group in 1997. They receive support from Harmony House (www.harmonyhousehk.org). They cultivate leaders and offer skills education. They help single mothers develop self-respect.

A member of Gabriela, single mothers in Philippines, insisted on the importance of the option of remarriage for single mothers. We should provide information of happy remarriages. A mom from China reported that single mothers have difficulties with relationships with their children in China.

There were multi-aspect discussions on the poverty of families headed by single mothers. We also discussed discrimination and bias against single motherhood, and the issues of child-rearing.

I spoke about the increasing cases of child abuse by single mothers’ male partners in Japan. And I shared the list of seven check points before remarriage which Single Mothers’ Forum makes in its book, 53 Strategies for Single Mothers to Survive. I also explained my doubts about encouraging remarriage for single mothers without careful consideration..

Women asked me how Single Mothers’ Forum could continue for 25 years. I am still not sure whether my answer was right. I explained the importance of assuring members equal status in the group and listening to their stories well.

It was the first conference in South Korea in which single mothers participated and spoke. So all of us were excited even after the conference. Korean single mothers asked us to go celebrate. We went drinking at midnight.

Since DANGNAGI started about one year ago, they were very energetic. I could feel their suffering as single mothers and their delight to meet other single mothers. I advised them on the management of the group.

I interviewed two single mothers in Korea. One single mom is a Piano teacher. She lives with her children near her parents’ house in a rural area far from Seoul. It is two hours by bus. Because of her parents’ support, she does not face economical difficulty. But she has suffered from her family’s, especially her mother’s, bias against single motherhood. However, she stays because she thinks it is better to have time with her children there. If she lived in Seoul, she would be working hard and have no time with her children.

Another single mom is a staff of the Korea Women's Hot Line. She did not want to tell me about her divorce. I asked her about her current living situation. She has two children and her income is a million won (about one thousand US dollars) a month. So she suffers from poverty. However, she was happy because she planned to travel to Japan with her children after the conference. She said she really appreciated becoming a staff of the Coalition.

The child allowance for a single parent in Korea is very low, about five million Won ($50 US) a month. And it also has a strict income limitation. In Japan, the amount (only for single mothers) is eight times higher than in Korea. Moreover, the eligibility rules for receiving Welfare in Korea are very strict. They cannot receive it if their kin (such as the child’s grand mother) works.

The amount of Welfare is also low. It is about six thousand Won ($600 US) a month. The number of part-time workers in Korea has greatly increased. More than half of all workers work part-time. Women tend to work at low wage jobs. Additionally, a person needs a great amount of money the first time to rent an apartment. So it is very hard for single mothers to survive without the allowance. They would have to live together with the moms’ parents. On the other hand, single moms also suffer from discriminations against divorce.

Korea is well known as a country that has a fever for education. It is hard for single mothers that they cannot pay education expenses in such conditions.

The networking between single mothers in Japan and those in Korea just started. But members of DANGNAGI are eager to publish their book, modeled on our book, 53 Strategies for Single Mothers to Survive. I would like to continue and nurture this relationship.

Chieko Akaishi, Director
akaishi@jca.apc.org
Single Mothers’ Forum, Japan
Translated by Shihoko Nakagawa