Welfare Warriors
Winter 2007
MW Voice FEATURE
War
Editor's Tidbits
Mama's Health News
Did You Know?
Youth/ Disabled/ Gay news
Resistance in the War
Against the Poor
Winter
2007
Homeless In The Dead Of Winter
Each deep breath I took was painful, burning my lungs with the
bitter cold. I would breath shallow, panting like an animal just to
exhale into my blanket. I was trying to warm the air before I sucked
it back up into my lungs. Many days I just wanted to quit trying, to
give up. I would dream of how my body would be found, blue, stiff,
covered in snow. Just another nameless woman found dead in the
spring thaw off a high country logging road, in the vast Stanislaus
forest.
The nearly 3 years I spent homeless had been both the worst years of life, and the best. A statement like that requires an explanation. One would think that I was a drug addict, alcoholic and/or mentally ill to end up homeless by my mid 40's. Actually, none of those could describe my fall from working middle class to one of the Shadow People--homeless and destitute, living in my beat-up car. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Nothing could have prepared me for where I would end up and the betrayal of those who were responsible.
In 1998 I bought a lovely 4 bedroom home in Discovery Bay. It is a wonderful family community in the heart of the Delta region. It is between SF Bay Area and the San Joaquin central valley. It always seemed to be sunny and warm in Discovery Bay. Clear blue skies and sea gulls fly freely overhead. The only sound on the average weekday is the laughter of children playing in the school yard a few blocks from my home. 3 of my 4 children lived there with me after I filed for divorce from my husband of 11 years. We all attended school. My children went to the local elementary and jr high schools. And I traveled to Pittsburg to attend Los Medanos Community college. I had hoped to get an AA degree, or at least to sharpen my trade skills to support my children. My 15 year career in the Construction field had ended with a job related accident in 1995.
Something so idyllic can't last for long when you’re dealing with domestic violence. I found myself on the losing end of the divorce. He fought over everything except the children. But then he discovered that the children were all I cared about. By 2001, my home was in foreclosure. The financial strain of trying to work, attend school and protect myself and my children was too much. Many people do not understand that domestic violence doesn't end with the filing of divorce. Instead it increases in intensity for some of the worst cases. Losing my home was not enough for my ex-husband. He then filed for sole custody of our children in the Marin family court.ourt.
It was terrifying to know that lying and perjury would never be prosecuted in this courthouse. And the person who wins is the one willing to do the most damage to the children. I was told that I had failed to protect my children from our abuser, their father. I faced losing custody to the state if I didn't take immediate action. I entered a DV shelter and filed the appropriate legal paperwork. The children and I were subsequently moved into another,more secure shelter. My ex-husband had hired someone to locate the shelter and threatened my life. I notified the DA's office that we had to be moved and why. I called the family court services dept, Judge John Sutro Jr and our assigned mediator Mamie Walters. I asked what my legal position was if I could not protect myself and attend my scheduled custody hearing. I asked for help and protection and a continuance of the hearing. I waited for a response and registered the kids in school. I attended all the required meetings and DV services through the shelter.
I was arrested after my ex-husband Patrick Karinen, his attorney Jan Eric Bolt and Judge John A Sutro, Jr met behind closed doors. They held an illegal exparte hearing to change custody over to Mr. Karinen. To make it look legal, the court forms stated that I attended the hearing in a phone conference. Nothing could be further from the truth. But that didn't prevent Marin DA agent Patricia Stafford from ordering my arrest based on this fraudulent custody order.
Kidnapping. Bail standard for a charge of kidnapping by a stranger would be $50,000. For a parent charged with custodial interference, bails run from $10,000 to 50,000. Bail for me--a protective mother who entered a domestic violence shelter on the advice of the DA's office--was set at $500,000. To change a set bail amount, the judge needs to have a representative attorney for the accused at the hearing. Except apparently in Marin County, state and federal rules don't apply.
For the next 6 years I was living on the edge of homelessness. I was often at the mercy and kindness of friends. I was sleeping in my car, begging for work and crying over not being allowed to parent my children. I motioned the court for discovery and attorney fees to help my case. I was denied each time. I suffer from chronic hepatitis. I probably contracted it from the less than sanitary conditions in the Marin County jail. I was held for 4 months before pleading guilty to a crime I didn't commit.
I am now under both medical and psychiatric care for PTSD after years of unrelenting trauma. I fear homelessness again. Marin County has threatened to issue a warrant for my arrest for failing to pay child support-- for children I wasn't allowed to see. And all is based on the fraudulently obtained order and the never legal custody order. It is shameful and embarrassing to admit that homelessness again may be my only option. I might have to use the housing money for another attorney to fight yet another losing case in front of the same unethical judges.
It is now January 2007, again one of the coldest winters on record. Today I passed by the homeless men sitting outside Wal-Mart, struggling to look them in the eye. I said hello, how are you today? I passed out some fleece scarves I made. Most don't ask for money or food, they merely express surprise at the unexpected attention. They respond with a reluctant "fine, I'm fine, thank you for asking". It is hard to imagine these were family men, members of loving families, fathers, brothers and sons.
I promised that I would clarify why this time in my life could also be best. I am comforted in knowing that I was not one of the judges or lawyers that proved to be unethical and immoral. At least I can sleep at night knowing that much, for whatever it's worth, that is important to me.
Valerie D Nixon
Justonemom@gmail.com
http://truthinscotsthistle.blogspot.com/